A Father's Work: God's Holy Name

Introduction

Usually people think of gross profanity and blasphemy when it comes to the Third Commandment. That makes sense, because the commandment says: “You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes his name in vain.” Clearly the commandment has speech in mind. However, there is a depth to this commandment that can be missed if only that perspective is considered. The Third Commandment is not only about using God’s name reverently in our speech but also about treating Him as holy in all of life. Thinking through what this precept teaches will help parents instruct their children to honor the Lord in keeping the Third Commandment.

Taking the Lord’s Name in Vain in the Bible

The Bible condemns God’s name being defamed through words. Leviticus 24:10-16 tells the story of a man who blasphemes God’s name. He was stoned to death for his offense. He was killed for using the Lord’s name as a curse word. However, there are more ways this commandment can be broken.

Ezekiel is charged by God to confront Israel with their disobedience. For example, they set up altars wherever they chose, profaned the Sabbath, and disregarded God’s law. God describes these things as blasphemy: “Therefore, son of man, speak to the house of Israel and say to them, Thus says the Lord GOD: In this also your fathers blasphemed me, by dealing treacherously with me.” They blasphemed God because they did not serve Him in a way that brought Him glory. Their actions caused God’s name to be diminished in the sight of others. Ezekiel shows how the commandment extends beyond simple speech and words. To see the implications of the Third Commandment, it will be beneficial to consider the Reformed confessions and catechisms on this topic. 

Good and Necessary Consequence

Rule six for interpreting the commandments, as quoted from the Westminster Larger Catechism #99 states that “under one sin or duty, all of the same kind are forbidden or commanded; together with all the causes, means, occasions, and appearances thereof, and provocations thereunto.” In applying this principle to the Third Commandment, Matthew Henry, in his Commentary on the Whole Bible, lists five ways that Christians can take God’s name in vain:

1. Through hypocrisy, professing to be Christ’s disciple but not living like it;

2. By breaking promises made to God;

3. By using God’s name or attributes rashly, meaning the gravity of the situation is not one which would justify doing so; 

4. By false swearing, making promises one never intends to keep;

5. By using God’s name carelessly without thought for its significance.  

6. 
   

These points show the breadth of application in honoring God’s name. 

The Westminster Shorter Catechism gives a similar sweep of the commandment. In its discussion of what is forbidden in it (Q/A #55), the catechism forbids the profaning or abusing of anything that God uses to make Himself known.  God makes Himself known through His Word. However, God is also known through the testimony of His people. For example, in 1 Timothy 6:1, Paul urges Christians who are slaves to honor their masters so that God’s name would not be “reviled.” Positively, in 2 Thessalonians 1:12 Paul prays that God will fulfill every work of faith in them so His name would be glorified. In both passages, God is evaluated in the eyes of the watching world through the actions of His people. Christians, as His representatives, should live in light of that truth.

Colossians 3:17 says: “And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” The Christian testifies to Jesus’ name by his actions. His behavior reflects on the name he bears. When he misrepresents Christ by his sin, he brings shame on Jesus’ name. He disregards the high esteem with which he should treat it and takes it in vain. The Third Commandment therefore applies not only to how he uses God’s name, but also to how he lives while bearing the name Christian.

For fathers, the Third Commandment should be approached with this understanding. Speech and actions are both in view. Because speech is the most immediate way children either honor or dishonor God’s name, this chapter will primarily address violations of the Third Commandment related to language.

What Will This Look Like in My Family?

The Third Commandment teaches God’s people to be reverent in their use of God’s name. That means fathers have to model and teach what kind of language is acceptable. How will your child speak when they leave your home? Will they faithfully reflect Christlikeness, or will they take His name in vain in word or deed? Below are some considerations for fathers about language and honoring God’s name in your family.

Prohibit Using Unkind Words

In the book of Colossians, Paul urges the believer to put on kindness in his sanctification. How often do Christians misrepresent God’s kindness through their own unkind speech? Christian homes will experience disagreement and tense moments. It is foolish to try to force an artificial happiness. However, fathers should not allow their children to resolve their disputes sinfully. Derogatory tones and words should not be permitted. When children do use them — and they will —step in and bring loving correction. 

When children are young, these moments are opportunities to teach them a kind tone by modeling it for them. If they have already been taught about kindness, correction may be needed. If harsh speech is not the norm, remind them they are not speaking kindly. As with any correction, consider both the frequency and attitude of the child’s heart. 

These instances are also good reminders for self-examination. Where, if anywhere, is this tone being modeled? Fathers must ask these questions so they can teach their children to imitate Christ. Fathers are to train their children in the fear of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4) and therefore cannot tolerate any influence that would work against that purpose. 

Unkind speech can cause children to cast God’s people in an unfavorable light and therefore God Himself. Christ certainly had harsh words for those who lived in sin, as can be seen in how He addressed the Pharisees. So, direct speech is needed at times. But He was also gentle with people. He welcomed little children when His disciples wanted to push them away. If it is necessary to say hard things, children should be taught to speak the truth in love. In doing so they will not take God’s name in vain.

Profanity. 

Ephesians 5:4 makes it clear profanity has no place in the life of the believer: “Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving.” Christians are to avoid obscene talk and crude joking. Even the pagan knows this kind of talk, at least in certain circumstances, is inappropriate. Television stations censor the “four letter words” because they inherently know these words are not appropriate for little children. If unbelievers recognize the impropriety of such speech, how much more should Christian fathers. Do not allow profanity in your home. 

Anger and Self-Control

One of the most common ways in which actions negate parental instructions is how parents handle the pressures of the day. In Colossians 3:8, wrath and anger are among the sins a born-again believer is to put to death. When Christian fathers cling to sinful anger, they misrepresent Christ to their children. Many struggle in this area, and by God’s grace there is forgiveness. But it must be sought from the Lord and from those who endure this wrath. Sanctification involves dealing with the sin that dwells within, by the Holy Spirit’s power. Fathers can be God’s sanctifying agents in their children.

How does a father disciple his children in this area? Christians are not to be ruled by their emotions. Fathers must correct them if their children are. Children can be directed to take a moment and compose themselves. Very young ones can be removed from the situation and placed in their crib or a place like it so they can have time to calm down. Older children should be expected to exercise self-control. 

If it is lost, help the child regain it and ask them to explain how they should have behaved differently. You may need to ask some probing questions: “What does the Bible tell you about how you are to behave toward others? Are you being kind to your brother?” Help the child see how to deal with life’s stresses. For example, they may ask, “What can you do when your brother or sister provokes you to sin? What can you do when you begin to feel angry?” Answers could include, “Seek justice from mom or dad,” “Leave the room,” or other choices like that. That is the hard work of Christian discipleship in the home. 

The Silent Treatment.

The silent treatment is just like shouting. It is just silent. There are certainly times when it is wise to refrain from speaking until emotions are under control. However, silence is often used to punish those who have caused offense. It can be a form of manipulation. The person who wields this technique is trying to exact vengeance on his enemy until he has “paid the price”. They are not showing restraint by their silence. Instead they are showing an unwillingness to forgive or reconcile. 

But God is a forgiving God. Therefore Paul instructs Christians to be “kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” To hold on to anger for vengeance’s sake is not Christ-likeness. Fathers are to teach that truth to their children, helping them understand it and giving a godly example.

The Bible also shows the virtue that opposes the silent treatment. Imagine how the parable of the Prodigal Son in Luke 15:11-32 would change dramatically if the father had used the silent treatment. The son would have come home, and the father would have left him outside hungry and cold until he thought he had suffered enough. Instead, the father runs to his son, holds him, kisses him, clothes him, and forgives him completely. That is God’s attitude in forgiveness. That is the attitude that should be taught by fathers. 

Interrupting 

Interrupting is more than just poor manners; it is a picture of the heart. It shows a child, or adult, who thinks himself more important than those engaged in the conversation he disrupts. My parents taught me to wait and prefer others. My parents taught me that if I needed to ask something while they were in a conversation, I was to stand near them so they could see me. Through eye-contact it was clear they would give me their attention when they were able to find a break in the conversation. There are other similar signals that can accomplish the same thing. Putting a hand on the father’s arm can also alert him that the child needs his attention. 

To a child, this kind of mechanism may seem strange. However it is a way to help them see they must consider others. Christ did not come to be served, but to serve. Because Christians bear Christ’s name, even ordinary habits of conversation should reflect His humility rather than selfishness. Christians take Christ’s name in vain if they live as if they are the center of the universe. Teaching them to be patient in conversation is one way fathers teach that idea in practice. 

These five examples show the importance of Christlikeness in communication. The Third Commandment reaches into ordinary conversations because ordinary conversations reveal the heart. Next I want to consider actions broadly speaking.

Considering Our Actions

How do God’s children live in a world that dishonors him? Fathers are the leaders of their families. As such, they are charged to prepare them for adulthood. By leading them in obedience to God’s law, fathers prepare them to glorify God. 

Christian families should look different from the families of the world, and not so that they can boast. Christian families belong to Christ and should be ordered by a love for God. The motives which animate the Christian family should make a difference.

Christian families function as representatives of Christ. People notice when the beauty of God’s character is displayed in families. They notice when children are able to rejoice in the success of a sibling or when a family is a place of courage and strength. When your family displays the fruit of the Spirit, it testifies to the holiness of Christ. Christian families are set apart, called to be holy as God Himself is holy. In those moments when you are able to bear witness to His name, do not take it in vain. The Christian family is evidence of what Christ does in his people. Children should be taught to reflect Christ, not their parents. The more fathers insist that their children glorify God, the more their family will reflect His beauty. Children are God’s image bearers whether regenerate or not. Fathers have the privilege of teaching them how to live as such. 

Some believe the child is not an image bearer until his heart is regenerate. However, remember the second use of the law. The law is made to restrain sin in all people. That includes sin against the Third Commandment. Fathers would never allow children to steal, hit their siblings, or throw a brick through their neighbor’s front window. Regenerate or not, children are expected to obey those rules. Fathers are to set boundaries for their children, and the only proper guide for these boundaries is God’s word. 

Conclusion

The Third Commandment is more than saying, “Do not verbally misuse God’s name and all is well.” There are other implications too. Fathers need to teach their children Christlikeness, especially in the use of their words. They must help their children navigate common pitfalls of communication such as unkind speech, fits of anger, manipulation through the silent treatment, interrupting, and other self-seeking actions. When fathers fail to be faithful representatives of Christ, they inadvertently encourage their children to take His name in vain. Can a father regenerate his children by curbing their speech? Certainly not. But by insisting on Christlikeness in action and by modeling the heart that should sit behind true obedience, fathers can direct their children to see ways in which they should honor the Lord.

Geoff Gleason has served as pastor of Cliffwood Presbyterian Church in Augusta, GA for the past 14 years. He and his wife Lisa have 11 children and 6 grandchildren. Geoff obtained his MDiv at Reformed Theological Seminary in Jackson, MS and his ThM at Puritan Reformed Theological Seminary.