A Christian Man’s First General Order

Before serving in my current roles as pastor, police officer, and chaplain, I served 8 years in the United States Marine Corps. At recruit training aboard Parris Island, South Carolina, the drill instructors had us memorize the 11 General Orders of a Marine sentry standing guard duty. Marine Corps Order 5530.15: US Marine Corps Interior Guard Manual details these General Orders, the first of which being “To take charge of this post and all government property in view.” This 1st General Order is the foundation upon which the remaining ten orders are built. If I were to apply this General Order to the Christian man, I would rephrase it as “To take charge of this family and all members thereof.”

To extend this comparison a bit further, Marine Corporals and Sergeants carry out this 1st General Order as they command and control their rifle squads in infantry platoons. These NCO’s (Non-Commissioned Officers) take daily control of their fire teams and squads, leading them in physical training, reading and professional education, and infantry skill training, all while knowing what is happening in their personal lives. When a squad leader does these things well, the rifle squad is molded and honed with deadly efficiency.

The task of a father is similar to the task of a rifle squad leader. Squad leaders train their squads for a singular purpose: “to locate, close with, and destroy the enemy by fire and maneuver, or to repel the enemy’s assault by fire and close combat.” While not necessarily training your family to carry out this task, you as fathers certainly are training your families for a purpose. What is the purpose for which you are training your family? Are you training your wives and children to focus exclusively on weekend travel sports, or are you training your wives and children to know the Scriptures and glorify God in word and deed?

This begs the question “what does it mean for a Christian man to take charge of his family?” Dr. Richard Phillips says that man’s mandate is “to labor to make things grow” (work) and “to protect and to sustain progress already achieved” (keep). This framework fits within the idea of the Marine Corps 1st General Order. Certainly, taking charge of your family and all members thereof involves working and keeping your family.

Practically speaking, there are many ways in which you can lead and take charge of your family:

1. Pray with and for your family

Pray with your family to train them in the practice of prayer and intercession. Colossians 4:2 says to “Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving.” Pray for the full gamut of requests for which you would normally pray; pray for others’ health; pray for others’ marriages; pray for your church, your pastors, your elders, and your deacons; pray to thank God for His provision; pray for your children’s’ future spouses, that they would come to Christ and be prepared to wed your child one day. There are countless things for which you can pray to God about.

Also, pray for your family. Actively pray for your wife, that God would lead her in her ordained, feminine role in society, church, and family. Actively pray for your children, that God would soften their hearts so that they would not remember a day where they did not know the Lord.

2. Read the Scriptures with your family

Deuteronomy 6:6-9 gives instruction to teach the Scriptures to your children at all times of the day and to “teach them diligently.” Your kids can only know the Scriptures if they are in the Scriptures. One way to do this is to begin or continue family worship. Family worship is an essential building block for training your families in the Scriptures and the ways of Christ. Take a few minutes each day or several times a week to read a chapter in the Bible with your family and teach a short lesson. Or try to memorize a catechism question together from the Westminster Shorter Catechism. This does not have to be complicated; just take 10 minutes a night for a few nights a week. As they get older, you can lead them in more detailed study. A small amount of effort in this area will often reap great rewards.

3. Be faithful in loving your wife in front of your family

If your children are like mine, whenever you hug or kiss your wife, they say “Dad, that’s gross. Why do you always do that?” But this is exactly what your kids need to see their dad doing! Children need to see their father loving and leading their mother (Ephesians 5:25-29) and they need to see their mother submitting to and loving their father (Ephesians 5:22-24).

Doing this not only models a proper marriage relationship for your children, but it also models the relationship between Christ and His church, as Ephesians 5 teaches. Your kids may say “Eww gross” when you kiss your wife, but they do need to see that love between their parents.

4. Be faithful about observing the Lord’s Day Sabbath with your family

Exodus 20:8-11 details the 4th Commandment, which is to “Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy.” The Sabbath, or the Lord’s Day, is not only a day to rest from work and recreation, but it is also a day to spend in worship and prayer with the saints (Acts 20:7) and in works of necessity and mercy (Matthew 12:1-13).

Observing the Sabbath with your family trains them how to spend the Lord’s Day in the proper way: worshipping and resting rather than working or recreating. In today’s culture, where travel sports and professional sports reign supreme, it is vitally important to show your children how to properly spend the first day of the week. Make it a firm priority to take your family to worship (morning and evening, if available) on the Lord’s Day. Spend your afternoons resting with your family, reading, or worshipping and reading Scripture as a family. You have six other days during the week to get everything else done. Set aside and consecrate this day for the Lord and for your rest and recovery.

5. Spend time doing fun things with your family

Do fun stuff with your wife and kids too; play board games; go on hikes; take your kids fishing at the river. Truly delight in your children by spending time with them and learning more about them. Doing fun things with your children often provides the right conditions for deep conversations with them. My oldest daughter opens up when I go on bike rides with her. My middle daughter opens up when I play board games or video games with her. My youngest daughter opens up when I play dinosaurs with her. These are often the times where I can have deep conversations about real life and the times where they are receptive to hearing a little bit of wisdom from dad.

Taking charge of your family means stepping into your God-designed and God-ordained role as the leader of your wife and children. This is a weighty task and it can be intimidating. I think every father reading this can remember a time where he has felt scared to raise his children or felt confused about how to address something with his children. But remember men, this is the task to which God has called you. The Lord your God has called you to die to yourself and to spend yourself in the glorious task of loving and shepherding your wife and loving and shepherding your children in the Lord. Walk this post with strength and courage, always relying upon Christ your Savior for wisdom and guidance.

Jared Dean serves as Assistant Pastor at Liberty Church PCA in Owings Mills, MD and as a police officer and chaplain at a county police department in Maryland. Jared previously served 8 years in the United States Marine Corps.

WORKS CITED

Marine Corps Interim Publication (MCIP) 3-10A.4i Marine Rifle Squad. Arlington, VA: Headquarters United States Marine Corps, 2020.

Phillips, Richard D. The Masculine Mandate: God’s Calling to Men. Sanford, FL: Ligonier Ministries, 2010.