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Strength Tethered to Virtue

Writer's picture: Scott DavisScott Davis


Turn on the TV, scroll social media, and read a magazine or newspaper. Although quite common today, you'll see a phrase that would have been foreign to us just a few years ago. "Toxic Masculinity."


Is this just a certain type of masculinity? If cotton candy is a type of candy, and if diet soda is a type of soda, then the prophets of the world would have us believe that "toxic masculinity" is a certain variety of masculinity. In fact, they will argue that it is the most common variety.

Is this true?


In 1 Corinthians 16, one of Paul's closing admonitions is, "Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong." If we received that admonition today, I'm afraid we'd have to ask, "What kind of men should we act like?" But Paul assumes that when he says "act like men," his hearers know what it means. Paul assumes that manhood is manhood. If he's right (and he is), what is manhood? What is masculinity?


"A gracious woman gets honor, and violent men get riches.

A kind man benefits himself, but a cruel man hurts himself.

Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman without discretion."

(Proverbs 11:16-17, 22)


Is this saying that women should be gracious so that they can receive honor and that men should be violent so they can become rich? No, there's quite a bit more going on here.

God made men, and God made women. He made them different from one another. And their differences are a gloriously good thing. Men ought not to be like women. And women ought not to be like men.


The conflation of the differences forfeits the goodness of God's design for a badly hacked modern spin on manhood and womanhood that doesn't serve us or our society well. 

God has made men physically strong. And they possess that physical strength in a manner and measure in which women do not. God has made women beautiful, gracious, and nurturing. And they possess those qualities in ways in which men do not. But, because men are sinful and women are sinful- those attributes utilized wrongly are dangerous and destructive.


A man who uses his strength to protect the weak, run toward the sound of gunfire, or go into a burning building to rescue someone is using his God-given strength in a way that blesses his neighbor. A man who crouches in the bushes to victimize a woman and overpower her is using his strength wickedly. His is the same physical strength but utilized in a wicked manner. Men must be instructed to use their strengths to serve their neighbors.


Consider verse 16 from two other translations:

The New Living Translation (NLT): A gracious woman gains respect, but ruthless men gain only wealth.

The New International Version (NIV): A kindhearted woman gains honor, but ruthless men gain only wealth.


This style of writing in Proverbs is what theologians call antithetical parallelism. 


What is the thesis? A gracious or kindhearted woman gains honor or respect. 


What is the antithesis or opposite? A cruel man, or a man using his strength ruthlessly, gains only riches. In other words, he gains no honor. He gains no righteousness. He is taking what God has given him and using it cruelly.


Men will be strong. God made them strong. The question is: Will they exercise that strength in a righteous, wise manner to the benefit of their neighbor, or will they exercise that strength in a cruel, ruthless way to enrich no one but themselves?


That contrast of how men's strength can be misused or appropriately used helps us understand what's going on in verse 22: "Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman without discretion."


The NLT has: "A beautiful woman who lacks discretion is like a gold ring in a pig's snout."

The Christian Standard Bible (CSB) uses: "A beautiful woman who rejects good sense is like a gold ring in a pig's snout."


Remember that this is written to a Hebrew audience. For the Hebrews, pigs were not the wonderful creatures that give us bacon and pulled pork. Instead, they were unclean animals with no value.


Men can sinfully use their strength, and verse 22 says that women can sinfully or foolishly utilize their beauty.


A man who bullies or rapes or abuses his spouse is wielding his masculinity in a "toxic fashion." That is a fair use of the word 'toxic.' But true masculinity is nothing of the sort. In fact, what such a man is doing is not masculine at all. It is just brute strength. He's not being masculine; he uses his physical strength to destroy.


Why does Solomon need his sons to know this? They're sinners who need to be shown how to wisely employ their strength in service to their neighbor.


But, what else do Solomon's sons need to know? They need to know: A beautiful woman without discretion is like a gold ring in a pig's snout. The English translation softens the original Hebrew. It doesn't say a woman without discretion is like or similar to a gold ring in a pig's snout. They say a woman without discretion IS a gold ring in a pig's snout.


In Solomon's day, young men could be guilty of placing all their criteria for choosing a woman on just her physical beauty. A young man would let the fact that a woman was beautiful overshadow any character flaws she may have possessed. Never mind that she was foolish, a scoffer, lazy, promiscuous, or an unbeliever. If she was pretty, that would be all that a young man would take into consideration. Sound familiar?


That also played itself out in other ways. There were women who could focus on nothing but their external beauty and believing that characteristic alone was all that mattered. 

So, what does all of this mean?


I contend that masculinity properly exercised isn't toxic. Instead, strength without virtue is toxic. Strength untethered from virtue and love of neighbor is toxic. It is a brick thrown through a window. It is a man who is a predator. It is a spousal abuser.


Likewise, a woman who utilizes her beauty in a way that is not tethered to virtue or discretion is "toxic."


How are men capable of being toxic? By being bullies or predators or destructively exercising their God-given strength.


How are women capable of being "toxic"? By using their beauty in a manner that is untethered from virtue. It looks like promiscuity. It looks like parading the beauty of their physical appearance in an inappropriate way.


Remember Solomon's earlier contrast in Proverbs between lady wisdom and the adulterous woman? One used her feminine qualities to benefit her community and household, while the other used her physical attractiveness in a wicked manner.


Let us stand firm on a proper definition of masculinity and manhood. Manhood is strength tethered to virtue.



Scott Davis is the pastor of Hope Presbyterian Church in Hot Springs, Arkansas.


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